Hi…I’m back!!

Well, I have not posted on this blog in about 7.5 years! SO much has changed since then I don’t even know where to start. Let’s catch up…

•Tyler and I have been married 9 years this August 15 together. 

•I am a cosmetologist and have my own salon in Draper. Tyler is going into his 6th year working at Fidelity Investments. 

•I co-own an adult dance company with my best friend Lexi called “Collective” 

•I am no longer a Drill Coach but still teaching at studio and am a director at United Dance! 

•We have moved 3 times since the last time I was on here. We now live in Lehi Utah. 

•One of the best updates, we welcomed a baby boy into our family on August 3rd, 2023 his name is Crew and he is the center of our lives! He now is 18months old and is growing up so fast!! 

Well I guess those are the updates for now. If you want to follow along WELCOME! I’m just a girl behind the hair chair with a boy name keeping it real 😉

Not long enough 💔

Hello Readers,

This has been a blog post I have push aside for far too long. How do you adequately write about someone that meant so incredibly much to you... My family and I lost an incredible man last month, I would love to say I have gotten completely through the grieving process but I would be lying. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish that he was back with us telling us his amazing stories and making us laugh, but I am grateful for my knowledge that I will one day see him again. Lary Rodgers was my grandfather and one of the best grandfathers a girl could ask for. Many who knew him would have said he was a hard worker, strong willed, loving, and always throwing out jokes. My grandpa was my hero in so many more ways than one. When I was just a little girl he would sit with me comforting me until I would fall asleep. Then as I grew up he would tell me stories like when him and my grandma were first married and they were living I'm Arizona in a tent on his base while he was I'm the military. He would also tell me about his amazing skills in Skeet shoot and how if he shot less then 100/100 it was not a perfect day. Towards the last year of his life he would tell me these stories over and over again which even though I had heard them a thousand times I just sat there listening intently like it was the very first time. I actually enjoyed listening over and over because whenever he told these stories his whole face would light up and you could see just how important those memories were to him. I was very fortunate that I was able to spend 23 amazing years with my grandpa he was even able to attended my wedding which was a dream come true for me seeing how I didn't know if he would be able to! Another cool experience I had with my grandpa was when he decided to fulfill a promise he made to my sweet grand mother to take her to the temple and be sealed for time and all eternity. I will seriously never forget that day, as we sat in the temple the spirit was so strong and as I watched my grandparents at 80+ years be sealed. I was able to act as proxy for their parents which was one of the most memorable spiritual experiences I have had. I will always remember that feeling of joy and know that the gospel really is true and that we can be together forever. I love you Grandpa and always will! Until we meet again ❤️

A beautiful life lived

Photo Credit: Marisa Rose 

Hello Reader,

Over the last couple days I have written this and re-written this about a thousand times. I mean how do you adequately express how someone as remarkable as Betty touched not only my life but so many lives around her?

It's crazy to me that in the blink of an eye you can be given a time frame on life. Betty was known as Mamaw's to many and she will forever be that to me. This wonderful women fought a great battle of cancer and was so happy and positive through it all. Mamaws has been in my life for quite some time now and I truly am so grateful I was able to know someone as sweet as her. For those who knew her, you will remember her constant smiles and never missing a chance to hug you each time she saw you. Or her amazing listening skills at each family party as she genuinely listened to everyones stories around her.

I have many amazing memories of Mamaws that I will cherish forever. To name a few, she was the dance grandma along side my grandma Rodgers who was also her best friend. Betty was always at every competition cheering all her "grand daughters" on no matter what! Another moment I will remember and love is when she took me to get a garter for my wedding she was so adament about helping out in any way she could and the garter was something she insisted on buying for me. The day we went to get one she was so sweet and wanted to make sure I really loved it. The garter was only about $4.00 when we got up to the register and she felt so bad that it was not more and wanted to spend more on me. I assured her and told her "whether it is $4.00 or $400 I love it the same, because it is a special gift from you Mamaws" she instantly cried and we hugged for what seemed liked 10minutes. It was that day that I realized even the smallest things in life can bring joy and happiness. Which that day picking out a garter brought me an abundance of happiness!

Lastly of the many memories I could write about, it was a couple weeks before she had found out and told us all that she was diagnosed with cancer. I had stopped by her house to deliver some shampoo to Arica (her granddaughter), Glenda her daughter was their getting ready to leave for work and I had sat talking to them for about 40mins until Glenda had to leave for work. Most of the time that would have been my cue and I would left as well but that Friday night I decided to stay. Mamaws and I talked for over an hour and a half just catching up. She told me about stories of hers from growing up and what was going on in her life at the moment and it was easily one of my favorite conversations I have had with her. She also had told me that night about what they thought was a cyst in her stomach and she said that all she had wanted is to make it to Arica's graduation day and then she would be ok. I held back the tears as she got chocked up. Even as I drove home that night I couldn't stop thinking about that and just hoping she would get to go to graduation!

Mamaws actually passed away just a couple weeks short of Arica's graduation and to be honest I will never understand why! My immediate thought when I found out about her passing was why now? why so close to her wish? I may never know the answer to this but I truly believe that ''everything happens for a reason". Although everyone is extremely saddened by the news of her passing I have comfort knowing that she will always be there watching over us with her angle wings spread wide. Thank you mamaws for alway being there when we needed you and thank you for being my grandmother even though we are not blood related, you always made me feel so special💖I love you.

xoxo 

Bee behind the chair

Still "figuring it out" at 23

Hello reader, 


Well, this post won't be a long read and nothing crazy. I find it pretty comical that when I was younger I thought that by my early twenty's I would have everything in life "figured out". You know the life you see in movies where they live in a nice house with the white picket fence, have great stable jobs, and their whole lives ahead of them? Haha, funny right? I just turned 23 last week and I can tell you I definitely do not have it all figured out and my life is not like I thought it would be. 

That is what I think is so great about life, it is so unpredictable and nothing really can ever be planned out. I may not be that 23-year old that has it all put together but if we are being honest I know plenty of 50-year-olds clear up to 92-year-olds and so on, that still do not have their lives "figured out". That's what is cool no matter how old we get we will never be able to completely predict what is to come in our future. I may not have fully comprehended this when I was little but I am glad I know that now! My life is perfect just the way it is and I can't wait to see what the future holds whether it be good or bad! Here it goes to being 23 😉

xoxo

Bee behind the chair

"Strive to be the best you, not the best "her" -Braidie Gummow

Photography: Marisa Rose 

Hello reader,

I am writing because something struck a cord with me tonight. Over the last couple months I have had many eye-opening moments or realizations. These are things I have always known but forgot over the course of this year.

First my two favorite movies "The Greatest Showman" and "Wonder" both of these movies have some of the best messages and have truly inspired me more than I can express. Second, tonight as I was sitting in my living room watching America Idol and balling like a little baby I finally mustered up the courage to write down my thoughts for the public. Thank you to Maddie Zahm who auditioned for American Idol and brought along her best friend who has down syndrome and talked about how he gave her the confidence and drive to be herself again.

I haven't wanted to talk about this because in order to do so I have to be very vulnerable and open which is something that I struggle with. After having all these moments hit me in the face the past couple months I couldn't ignore it any longer. It has given me prospective on how I should view things and try to be the best me. For those of you that have see me in the last year I'm sure you've noticed, but for those of you who have not seen me in a while well here we go...Since I got married in August of 2016 I have gained 35lbs! Yes I know what most people would think "Wow she let her self-go" but if we are being real, let me explain...Over the course of our marriage I have had multiple doctors appointments and tried many different methods to work out the kinks of why I have gained the weight but not drastically changed my eating habits or exercise? I have tried 3 different birth control pill brands and an IUD which we have found I am allergic to all forms which has caused my hormones to not be balanced out. We are still trying to figure things out with testing my thyroid, hormone levels, ect. but here is the real behind the scenes. Because of my weight gain I started losing myself and my confidence. For the last year I have been embarrassed to even be in pictures and haven't acted or felt like myself at all. Being the 5' 3' stalking build I am 35lbs looks more like 80lbs and as you can imagine has made my already round face rounder, my broad shoulders chunkier, and my stump legs stumpier (I know not proper words but oh well). I have always been very active as a dancer and had a major passion for healthy eating and exercising, so gaining weight was never my plan which I mean it's no ones plan, but it has been extremely hard. Over the course of gaining weight I lost my drive to walk back into that gym, not because I didn't want to put in the work but because I was embarrassed for those I may see who know me and would see the new fatter me. Or the time when everyone was pigging out on sweets and I had just that one bite but felt like I had to hide it because I didn't want people to think "she has already gained so much weight why is she taking a bite of that?". I can assume what most people are thinking right now reading this...How ridiculous to be that worried about what others think? Well after many tears, talks with doctors, unconditional love from my amazing husband, and trying to lose the weight I realized your right how stupid! So now to tie in those movies and realizations I have had.

It doesn't matter if I wore a size small a year ago or if I could confidently wear a bikini at the pool. Just because I am heavier then I have ever been or ever wanted to be in my life. Doesn't mean I have to hate on myself for it. Why do we worry if we have gained weight? Why do we compare ourselves to those around us? Why are we never satisfied with what we see looking back at us in the mirror? These are the questions I think we all should be asking ourselves and the list of questions could go on forever. We are all different and beautiful in our on unique ways. Defining beauty or worth by 1 particular idea is not realistic! We all come in many shapes, skins tones, personalities, ect. so why do we all feel like we have to fit into one "Perfect" mold? We should love ourselves and be confident with who we are because in reality there is no "Perfect" person. There are definitely people who come very close to that "Perfect" expectation but I promise you they are struggling just like all of us and have at least one thing they would change about them selves. So I would like to encourage every little girl, teen, or woman to be proud of who they are. Walk tall and confident because there is always someone out there that has a harder life or is struggling with much more than you are.

I don't mean that we should let ourselves go and not care at all but rather "Strive to be the best you, not the best "her". I know we are all going to have our hard moments or multiple moments but if we all try to empower one another and embrace each other I think we will all be much happier!

                                                                          Xoxo

                                Bee behind the chair